biggest.
if someone would have told me 7 years ago that our almost 1 year old
baby girl, chloe, would someday be a little sister, i wouldn't have been able
to fathom that. i couldn't even imagine how my heart could fit love for
any other children--let alone one 'stealing' her birth order. [yes, people
say that to us.] yet, my heart has grown with each child we've been blessed with.
i didn't realize that was one thing that really doesn't only hold a certain capacity.
and here we are. a different child as our oldest. i don't think this
is for everyone. but, i do know it's for some. it is for us.
and missing it because i was more worried about the ramifications of disrupting
birth order than educating ourselves & listening to God's plan for our family makes
me shudder at the thought. so many of these 'older children' are
really just children. ready to love. ready to make your heart grow again. ready
to be the big brother. ready to excel at every new task. eager to serve.
quick to learn. ready to be little again.
it's really been a blessing to watch those things in him. there are also
blessings for each person in our family from it. today i was in the middle
of hard and i giggled out loud as i waded through it. i giggled at how easy
our lives could have been. you know, when we were on track with our
2 kids and climbing the ladders. getting manicures every week and
eating out all the time. able to enroll our kids in private classes & they could
have calendars like socialites. seriously--it would have been so easy.
[and i'm not knocking anyone...i'm truly saying that's how i saw our lives at one point.]
but, oh, what i would've missed. what we all would've missed.
this kid is right where he belongs.
and so am i.
I don't see that you stole anything from Chloe--how silly are people? She's still the oldest sister and you know, she totally gets off the hook now because you can't tell her that as the oldest, she needs to behave and set a good example.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you weren't afraid to open your heart outside of your comfort zone. I'm so glad Nico is home.
it's amazing how our lives aren't really up to us!! you have been so obedient and i am proud to be your friend. when we 'listen' i think it helps others around us 'listen' too. it's soo cool. thank you for sharing your family with us all. inspiring.
ReplyDeleteLove this. We're walking the same walk right now (albeit with a few fewer kids) and, though it isn't always easy, I wouldn't have it any other way :)
ReplyDeleteI love this -
ReplyDeleteThanking God for your gift of putting my feelings into words.
One day we will meet face to face and I just know, if not here on earth it will be in heaven...I look forward to it either way.
BLESSINGS!
I absolutely love this. God has a plan for us all. It was definitely meant to be. :)
ReplyDelete...Ready to be little again... Doesn't that say it all?
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you, Love.
Thanks for being open (again!) about some of the things that used to be important to you. It helps to see how God got you from there to here...it is a great reminder. Thanks for very politely saying what really needs to be said (and repeated often), "It's not easy and God never said it would be!"
ReplyDeletei just really like this. what a wonderful family you have.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and true.
ReplyDeleteSteph
AMEN! Love it!
ReplyDeletePerfect. Just perfect.
ReplyDeleteI was graced by the company of a woman and her children today at the park with my two. She was in Alabama for a short visit. We were both from Michigan. She shared her children's adoption stories and then I shared mine. At the end of the day, it was reconfirmed and reconfirmed that EVERYTHING is His plan. Even those little gifts like a kindred spirit and their friendly conversation.
Congrats to you and yours.
Yes, I still haven't forgiven my younger sister from stealing my birth order as the youngest from me. My parents are lucky I still talk to them. I was the youngest, and they just threw that all away. Three times. ;)
ReplyDeleteI wish all firstborn children had the chance to experience what it's like to be a younger sibling. They could learn a lot. But most of them will never get the rare insight which Chloe is so privileged to receive. A new perspective? Crap, I don't know anyone who couldn't benefit from that.
i don't believe you disrupted the birth order. no.
ReplyDeletehe was always yours...always the oldest.
now, he's just finally home! : )
aboslutely love what you wrote and after reading the comments above, i'm loving what the others wrote too! i couldn't be more happy for you and your family to have your boys home! they're absolutely adorable and i pray that the Lord continues to bless your family!
ReplyDeleteStealing?! Oh please. You've GIVEN such a gift to all your kids - the gift of siblings, no matter what the order.
ReplyDeleteDisclosure: not an adoptive parent. But I dont know...I think it's pretty well-documented that it *can* have some effects on the bio-child who is re-positioned in birth order so to speak. However it seems like knowinG the full effects are a long way off...as adoption seems to be coming more "en vogue" (especially In Christian circles, especially international, especially in countries that are or were closed to adoption) it would be interesting to me to follow the bio kids In families similar to yours and see what thoughts and feelings are over time. I'm sure it's sunshine and roses for many, but I can't Believe it would be for all. Again not saying I'm an expert - I'm a 2-kid having, christian working mom on the ladder, but minus the weekly manicures. Sounds delightful, though
ReplyDeleteanonymous...
ReplyDeleteyes, of course it has effects on the bio children. that's why i indicated that this is definitely not for everyone and also indicated that educating ourselves about the effects of changing birth order are so important.
as i've previously written in posts also, i don't think it's wise to go into this blindly. we had met our children and carefully [and prayerfully] considered each of our children's personalities, temperaments, strengths and weaknesses as we considered what our family was being called to.
adoption is anything but sunshine and roses or some fun trend....it is hard & based on loss. i believe in redemption though and i'm blessed to be able to witness it up close every day...in each of our children and myself.
i agree that there is a plan God has for all of us. you have a beautiful blog!
ReplyDeleteLove this and love you. Amazing to see what God has planned when we get out of His way and let Him work through us. <3
ReplyDeletethis makes my heart sing, even in the middle of hard.
ReplyDelete