letting go.
i let my kids play outside barefoot.
they do not have to finish every bite on their plate.
they fly through the air jumping from the coffee table to the couch.
they un-roll the paper towels and make a "yellow brick road" through the living room.
they are allowed to chew gum.
we jump on beds & have wild dance parties.
each of them crawls into our bed to sleep every now and then.
they eat happy meals sometimes.
we choose to have family nights instead of extracurricular activities.
if they awaken at midnight, we often share a bowl of Rice Krispies.
they are allowed to sift through my jewelry box.
they have markers & [safety] scissors in their room.
we have several things that are
"absolutely not"
in our house, but the above are some of the things that
we have chosen not to take issue with.
of course, there is a balance with everything and
they know that some of these things are just for our house....our home.
here's the thing i've been thinking about though:
just because our kids jump on beds doesn't mean that i think
you're a bad parent because your kids don't.
my feelings or beliefs about something do not reflect on your actions.
just because we are choosing to stay home together all summer doesn't
mean that you are doing anything wrong by sending your kids to summer camp.
what works for my family doesn't have to work for yours.
if we're all just loving the very best that we can,
does it honestly matter?
Inspired by this post from SortaCrunchy.
This is so such a great post. I love hearing about parenting :) the picture is beautiful as well!
ReplyDeleteso.so.TRUE.
ReplyDeleteXO
(we "let go" of a lot of the same things! Dance parties on our bed is one of my favorite things to do!)
I just read that post on SortaCrunchy last night!
ReplyDeleteLove your post. Our houses sound pretty similar rule wise ;) But it doesn't mean I would love you any less if your list was way different than mine.
Fantastic post!
I love this post. A lot. That's all.
ReplyDeleteOh, LOVE! This touches my heart so deeply. Your house and my house - I think they are a lot alike. A LOT!
ReplyDeleteThat last sentence - yeah. That's pretty much exactly what I was trying to say. You just said it much more succinctly! (I've not been given the gift of succinct.)
♥♥♥ this.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!!! I couldn't agree more, and admit that basically everything you listed....we "let go" of, too! I hope you have a wonderful day today! - Stephanie Wylie
ReplyDeleteI'm not a parent, but when I am, I will remember this advice - I tend to be pretty uptight and not so easy going. But I know I will learn that in the scheme of eternity, some things don't matter THAT much. So thank you for this reminder. :)
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of things that I've loosened my grip on over the years, and it feels so good! Love this!
ReplyDeleteI see we're growing the same 'flowers' this year;)
ReplyDeleteI'm 27 and I'm still not allowed to have markers in my room. Can I come live at your house??? :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, this is great, and really gives me a lot to think about. I have just been thinking recently about some of the "rules" we have here at home and why we have them. Is it because I think they *should* be rules, because they are rules I had growing up?, or are they things that really are important to us? We need to come visit you r house! :D
ReplyDeleteDITTO! Sometimes it's hard to just let kids be kids, but I don't want them to look back on their childhood and realize they didn't have any fun! My husband is a stickler on some things that I just don't think are a big deal...and I think it's because that's what he grew up knowing, not because it's necessarily important. It's hard to retrain his brain sometimes, but I'm working on getting him to just relax sometimes and let things go!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post...I'll remember it the next time I feel like saying "no" and will re-evaluate if it's really a big deal or not! ;)
I love how real and fresh you are! I know it's not always easy letting go, much less blogging about it.
ReplyDeleteI love this. I just stumbled upon your blog, and I love it. The honesty is so refreshing. Your family is inspirational <3 Have a happy day!
ReplyDeleteI think that seeing all different types of parenting will help me figure out what kind of parenting I will do...so thank you for sharing yours!
ReplyDeleteWe must enjoy our own lives and not judge others....it's so nice to see you live that way!
Wow! First I want to start by saying that I LOVE the message of your post. We all parent differently and no one thing is right for every family. I am trying to remember this each day - but not because I judge other parents harshly...because I judge MYSELF harshly.
ReplyDeleteI try so very hard to be more relaxed. To let my kids be kids. To "let go" of some rules. The thing is though, I read your list of things your kids do and I honestly get stressed! Not because they are things I don't think kids should be allowed to do - quite the opposite! I think it is AWESOME that your kids have art supplies in their room. That they can jump and play and just be kids! I get panicky though because while I WANT my kids to have those things, I honestly don't think I can do it.
Barefoot kids means dirty floors for me to mop.
Jumping on couches and coffee tables means trips to the ER (and trust me - we've already had our fair share!).
Chewing gum is fine, until I find gum wrappers behind beds, and chewed up wads of gum on that somehow miss the garbage can.
Jumping on beds? Again with the trips to the ER!
I want my kids to be able to draw with markers and create things...but I have to keep them in a locked cabinet out of reach, because my walls and floors would have more artwork than a museum. And scissors? Too many toddler-home-haircuts.
So how? How do I give my 3 boys the childhood I want them to have? How do I relax? How do I let go of these things? I would love some advice...because I want to be able look at myself and not judge my own parenting so harshly anymore!
I love your posts. I can tell how honest they are and how much love you have as a mother. And I can relate a lot to this one- sometimes I feel like I am too "easy" with Audrey. I try to find the right balance of letting her explore, have fun, get dirty, you know whatever, but also set boundaries. It's a tough one, and I am definitely learning as I go. As we all are, I'm sure. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you thank you. I feel like this post freed me. Mine is only 8 months old, but the agony of chosing who to listen to is the same as if she were a toddler or older. Thank you for giving me a piece of mind.
ReplyDeleteI also think if we're doing what we love, and doing our best to love it, we can't go wrong. :)
ReplyDeleteSteph
it is so comforting to read that we are alike. i think letting the kids express themselves is wonderful...and it makes them happy!
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone makes the best choices for their own families. And I love that. I wish everyone could love that and not reflect it back on themselves. We are all doing our very best and what works for us!
I adore this post! I parent alot like you as far as trying to be a "yes" mom when I can be. Thanks for sharing....
ReplyDeleteThis is so good to hear. I read it and feel better. I sometimes wonder if I am doing the right things. We all do it different and it doesn't mean it is wrong! Such a good thing to hear.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind if I post some of our "rules" on my website...and link back to you. I love this post. :)
ReplyDeleteThe rules at my house are different than the rules for Granny and Pappy's house which are different than the rules for the grocery store. My Dalton is starting to get this more and more...and so is Cole. The 10 month old loves his freedom at our house -- because we don't have stairs, I just let him "crawl" free (aka to run free) which he can't do at my parent's house.
ok, didn't mean to get into this...thanks for helping keep things in perspective Love!
beth--no i don't mind at all!
ReplyDeletekira--i totally hear what you're saying. i don't know how to fix that. maybe it doesn't need fixed? this is so much a product of my personality. i know it isn't for everyone and that's okay. you did say at the end that you do want them to have a relaxed childhood though. maybe you could start picking one day a week to be a "yes day." trust me, some of it starts to wear on me sometimes, too. i find myself getting snappy, but i almost instantly hear myself. that's when i try to ask myself WHY i'm so concerned about it.
THANK YOU so much for your honesty!!