Memorial Box
Throughout our calling to adoption, figuring out that our child was in Africa, getting our homestudy complete and receiving a travel date from the orphanage director, I rarely had one moment of hesitation. I had so much peace about everything & knew that He had paved this path for us long ago.
There were only 3 times in the process that I remember being scared. frightened. doubtful.
The first time was during our homestudy process. We felt such an urgent call to action that I wanted them to hurry.up.already. I felt like we gotten our part done so quickly and the processing of them completing the paperwork was so drawn out. I knew in my head that everything would go exactly how it should, but my heart was a different story. My heart wanted to be in Africa.
Well, guess what? The timing was perfect....His timing was perfect. Even though I didn't meet Clayton until 2 days later, we arrived at the orphanage the very same day.
The next time that I felt those feelings was after walking out of the director's office after she told me that we could adopt Clayton. IF he were deemed adoptable after their investigation. Of course I wanted there to be a proper investigation {and for Clayton to go to biological family if they wanted and were able to} but, once again, my heart? Already totally in love with him.
So, when I left her office that day, I was SO hopeful, but wondered how to proceed with Clayton. Do I continue to love with my whole heart....with my Mama heart....when he may not be our son?
I practically ran down to the internet cafe to type my husband about the news. The news that if Clayton, whose name was Elijah at the orphanage, were deemed adoptable, he could be our son!
I settled into my computer and waited for it to load. They always had a little boombox going that normally played Celine Dion or Milli Vanilli. I stopped my typing instantly. The song playing right that very second?
Days of Elijah
Peace. God loves me so much....Clayton Elijah so much....us SO VERY MUCH, that He reassured me that Clay would be our son.
In all my 25 days total there, I never heard any other worship song while in the internet cafe.
The very first item going into our Memorial Box [to remember God's faithfulness, protection, love, and grace] will be a CD with the song Days of Elijah on it.
There were only 3 times in the process that I remember being scared. frightened. doubtful.
The first time was during our homestudy process. We felt such an urgent call to action that I wanted them to hurry.up.already. I felt like we gotten our part done so quickly and the processing of them completing the paperwork was so drawn out. I knew in my head that everything would go exactly how it should, but my heart was a different story. My heart wanted to be in Africa.
Well, guess what? The timing was perfect....His timing was perfect. Even though I didn't meet Clayton until 2 days later, we arrived at the orphanage the very same day.
The next time that I felt those feelings was after walking out of the director's office after she told me that we could adopt Clayton. IF he were deemed adoptable after their investigation. Of course I wanted there to be a proper investigation {and for Clayton to go to biological family if they wanted and were able to} but, once again, my heart? Already totally in love with him.
So, when I left her office that day, I was SO hopeful, but wondered how to proceed with Clayton. Do I continue to love with my whole heart....with my Mama heart....when he may not be our son?
[clay on the 1st day we met.]
I practically ran down to the internet cafe to type my husband about the news. The news that if Clayton, whose name was Elijah at the orphanage, were deemed adoptable, he could be our son!
I settled into my computer and waited for it to load. They always had a little boombox going that normally played Celine Dion or Milli Vanilli. I stopped my typing instantly. The song playing right that very second?
Days of Elijah
Peace. God loves me so much....Clayton Elijah so much....us SO VERY MUCH, that He reassured me that Clay would be our son.
In all my 25 days total there, I never heard any other worship song while in the internet cafe.
The very first item going into our Memorial Box [to remember God's faithfulness, protection, love, and grace] will be a CD with the song Days of Elijah on it.
Awwwwww...I needed this this morning! My one little man is an Elijah and have been dealing with the anxiety of waiting for God's providence to come over the "placing" process in our foster/adopt. I already feel wholly in love in whoever will walk through our door even though I said that I wouldn't be this way. Thank you for your sharing!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful thing for your box...amazing timing once again to remind you that someone else is in control when we feel like we are helpless.
ReplyDeleteOh WOW, thank you for sharing that beautiful story. Isn't it funny (or just wonderful)how life works? I love this! And that little face of his.....no wonder you couldn't help but fall in love with him immediately! :)
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing this :) i'm all teary, of course. God loves us in such a special way!
ReplyDeleteand days of Elijah is such a great song :) Listened to it a lot while I was pregnant with my Elijah Zion :)
I love how much you trusted God that He would see you through those moments. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteThis is just what I needed to hear today! The last interview for our homestudy is today. And I have done things so quickly and I get frustrated that everyone else can't keep up. Now I know that it's God's timing not mine. Thanks for the encouraging story.
ReplyDelete;) I hadn't logged in above
ReplyDeleteI love this. I love how it was all part of His plan and the timing was so wonderfully, unmistakably orchestrated.
ReplyDeleteOkay---so I read this post of yours, and then ran back to Aug.2007 of my blog. I posted something similar! I truly believe that there are signs for us to see if we open our eyes to see them!
ReplyDeleteFrom my family's past....:
My moment: I have something that is so very precious to me. It's our "penny timeline" for our family. I started this when Damon & I were engaged & it was his wedding gift. It has a penny from the year he was born, I was born, the year we met, the year we got engaged, the year we got married, the year we got our first house, and then 2005. That year, Damon got his 1st hole in one, we found out we were pregnant, and Gage was born. So, they go in a line...and then in 2005, there is another penny branching off & starting a new line for Gage's life. I had a 2007 penny for Baby Masyn, and today was the day that I would work on updating the penny timeline. So, as I'm doing it, I flip on the radio...and kind of get lost in what I'm doing...and then, I can somehow hear the words on the radio just as clear as day. It's some song, and the chorus says, "I'm miiiiissin' you..."...and the next thing I know, it's off the radio. I was just thinking about all that should have been or could have been, and how I just wanted that sweet baby to smell & hold, and......and now I'm crying again. Anyway....the next thing I know, another song is on, and it's the middle....and it's "She talks to angels" by the Black Crowes. And, so then, I just thought....is this a sign?
and maybe my mom & I are dorky---but to us, things happen for a reason, and most things mean something......so to me, I thought, "my baby is up there in heaven, knowing how I feel right now, and knowing what I feel what I've lost."
So...the song was over, and I switched stations. And here is the song that was on:
"Held" by Natalie Grant. The song was just what I needed when I needed it.
I'm telling you, between your story and Jade's story (her being in Africa RIGHT NOW), my heart is really aching for a child from there. But honestly, I'm so scared. I mean I am pregnant right now and I am already thinking about adoption. (My husband is totally on board too). Anyway, I think my point is, your story is touching a lot of people, I'm just one example. :)
ReplyDeletei've tried to write several of you back, but your e-mail isn't linked up to your profile. =(
ReplyDeleterachel--i'm so thankful that you said that. i almost took that part of the story out, {simply because i try not to be super word-y} but i just felt like i REALLY couldn't. so thankful that is an encouragement for you!!
Ahh that face .. and God's faithfulness. They go together like PB&J.
ReplyDeletePlease checkout this website. Super helpful for homeschoolers of young children; gorgeous pictures and gracious living. Even though my child is much older than Heidi's, I can't stop reading!
http://mthopeacademy.blogspot.com/
Destiny
What a beautiful story...and did you know that is the song that the Lord used to show me that we were going to have an Elijah next? Love, love, love it!!
ReplyDeleteAnd your Clayton Elijah is absolutely adorable!!
Thank you so much for doing a Memorial Box MOnday post! xo
I love your story and seeing it all unfold!
ReplyDeleteSteph
I love that song too! God speaks peace to our heart in individual ways. He is such a great Father!
ReplyDeleteIn Christ Alone,
Sherri
What a sweet post, I need to be stronger in my faith.
ReplyDeleteIt's an amazing feeling when we receive confirmation from Him! I love your story!
ReplyDeleteAWESOME!!!!!!! What amazing confirmation. God used the song "Mighty to Save" over and over again as we waited for our Georgia who had a very sick heart and on the day of her open heart surgery (just days after getting back from China)...right as I drove into the hospital parking lot, Mighty to Save came on the radio!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it!!!!
Shannon
www.throwingourarmsopenwide.blogspot.com