five.

i was at work.  a midnight shift.  daddy was home with your big sister, chloe.  she was 14 months old.  i remember the exact feeling of cupping my hand around your tiny, little booty on the upper, right side of my huge, tight-skinned belly. 


it was a slow night at the hospital.  you and i walked laps and ate crushed ice.  you hiccuped inside of me.  just like you did so much of every single day you hid away in there.  i finally told the other nurses that i was in labor, but they thought i was silly since we weren't supposed to meet you for 3 more weeks.  finally, 6 hours into my shift, i told them that i needed someone else to be in charge of the floor.  i needed to walk down a flight of stairs to labor and delivery.  [they still thought i was silly.]


i remember wanting to give my patients their final medications for my shift, so i did so before i left.  i remember walking into room 315 bed 1 and she complained because i was 5 minutes late with her pill.  [kinda having a baby, lady.  gimme a little break?!]  i walked down that flight of stairs and found out that i was 5 cm.  


daddy came up.  we walked.  we rocked.  nana drove up.  aunt stol drove up.  we guessed if you were a boy or girl.  we laughed how you were due on nana's birthday, but would share a birthday with papaw.  i got an epidural.  it worked for 2 hours.  then, it didn't.  your water broke.  it all happened so quickly then.  except the doctor.  she was not quick.  i "blew away" the urge to push for 19 minutes.  [what was i thinking?!]  then the doctor got there.  


AND.THERE.YOU.WERE.  it's a girl!


it's a girl? it's a girl?  i can't believe it's a girl!  i can't believe it's a girl!  i'm SO happy you're a girl!  


i repeated that over and over and over.  sisters.  you made chloe a sister.  one that could have a sister for a best friend forever and ever.

our sweet little, teeny-tiniest anika taylor.  we welcomed you to the world 5 years ago.  happiest of birthdays, my little love.  may you always be so compassionate.  so spunky.  so full of hope.  so filled with love.