Speaking out about Hyperemesis Gravidarum

A week ago, I showed this picture on instagram of arrows that I have to

represent our children in reference to Psalm 127.  

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.  Like arrows 

in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth.  Blessed is the one 

whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-5a.  

You'll notice that there are 10 arrows and we are so grateful & excited that we will be 

welcoming a new baby in September!

I'm thankful for everyone sharing in our joy and I want to share more about

a condition that I have with pregnancy.  It's something that's widely misunderstood

and is hard to talk about.  In my previous pregnancies, I had no desire to talk

about it publicly as I was literally just fighting for the babies and I to survive.

This time, due to a lot of research, experience and education, I was able

to start a vitamin regimen even prior to pregnancy that helped my body fight it.

Then, was able to start on medication specifically for this condition upon

its first symptoms.  My symptoms begin before I'm even able to get a positive

pregnancy test.  

Hyperemesis Gravidarum [HG] is a debilitating and potentially life-threatening 

pregnancy disease that affects 0.5%-2% of women.  It is marked by rapid weight

loss, malnutrition, and dehydration due to unrelenting nausea &/or vomiting. 

Having HG has been hard for me to talk about.  It can be a really dark place

to desperately love and want your baby, but also feel like dying for 36 or so

weeks.  Although it isn't a choice I would ever personally make, I remember

feeling such relief 10 years ago to hear my doctor once say that 1 in 7 women who 

have hyperemesis choose to electively abort their pregnancy due to the condition.

It sounds so sick of me to feel relief with that and I pray that I'm not misunderstood

there.  I grieve for those moms and their babies.  Yet, it validated how terribly

awful and dark this condition truly is.  You can read an article about that here.

Each of my 6 pregnancies have been slightly different and it is different for

every woman, but the best way that I can explain it is that I literally just

puke all day.  On an exceptional day, it is about 5-6 times and on bad days, it

is 20-30 times.  The bad days tend to come in cycles and the cycle is hard

to break.  I've taken oral medication formulated for chemotherapy patients

with nausea, been to the hospital numerous times for IV fluids, had to have

nutrition through a PICC line when I couldn't get it orally, had a pump that

I poked into my thighs daily to continuously deliver anti-nausea medications

and some of the darkest days of my life.  

It is often tricky because the cycles don't come with any rhyme or reason

and many times when I can keep something down, it isn't anything that you

would imagine would sound good to someone who has been so sick.

It is debilitating to your life and effects the whole family.  That adds another layer

of shame and guilt as you watch it turn your family life upside down.

It is hard to reach out for help when you're in survival mode and in all honesty,

I cannot imagine someone in our home at my worst.  

9 weeks with baby #10. Despite having lost 5 lbs so far, my body knows what to do to keep baby healthy.

Despite still having some hard days, I am extremely grateful that the condition

is much more under control this pregnancy. Matt has stepped up to cover

many of the areas that I just can't right now & the kids are chipping in even

more, too.  I want to speak out about this because many times we are told that

this is what every woman goes through.  I've been a nurse on floor with ladies

experiencing hyperemesis and it's so misunderstood--even in the medical 

community.  I'm in a private support group on Facebook and my heart breaks

to listen to other women experiencing HG and often not getting support &

care they need.  My faith & the blessing of a new, teeny, tiny life within 40 weeks 

is always what keeps me going, but I'd be lying if I didn't say even that was 

really hard to cling to in the worst moments.  

If you or someone you know is experiencing hyperemesis,

please reach out.  Keep seeking help and know that you aren't alone.

You can learn more & get support by clicking the HER foundation button below.