joy will come.
i just asked clayton [3] if he's been a good boy for granny and papa today.
matt's parents are here for a visit and have been a gigantic help while i haven't been
feeling well. clay rubbed his chin with one hand while dramatically saying hmmmm.
finally he decided: no. no yet. i laughed and asked him when he was going to
start. i dunno. after MYganda.
our son calls YOUganda, MYganda. i can hardly take the cute in that.
matt's mom said that they were watching Cinderella today and bianca went to the other room
to dance. clayton went to join her and said, i'll be your prince. he leaned in and kissed her as
they danced. they are precious together and it is a blessing to watch them as individuals
and as the twins that they instantly became in our family 2 1/2 years ago.
today, after i had to honestly tell someone how many times i'm still getting sick per day,
she sighed disgustingly and said, oh man. i bet you regret this now. i told her & will say
publicly that no. no, i don't regret any of my pregnancies just because the
hyperemesis is hard. each of our children is worth every moment of the hard.
the same answer applies to 'birthing' our boys through adoption. worth every moment
of the hard.
everyone's adoption journey is different, but there is hard in all of it. i'm watching a lot of
friends come home with their new children right now & it's bringing back many of those
memories. sometimes you think the waiting, the paperwork, the this signature & that one,
the unknown and the more waiting will be the hardest part. i'm not discrediting how
hard it can be. a part of your heart is missing. but, i think sometimes there are such romantic
notions about the homecoming, that people are blindsided.
i think that i had pretty realistic expectations, but i still got the post-adoption blues
[totally a real phenomenon that needs talked about more] and we weren't totally
prepared for how insecure such a young child could be with trust and food. clayton
was 13 months old when he came home and i now know that even babies much
younger than that will have these same things. food security issues run deep and it is hard
to watch your precious baby struggle through that. even now, we see glimmers of them
start to come through again. but, slowly, you begin to see it--the trust building.
the transformation. the redemption. it's a battle. it is hard. but, oh is it worth it.
stick with it, moms in the trenches. it is worth it.
it will end. love will win out.
joy will come.
myganda.
ReplyDeletewhat a cutie!
such great wisdom and encouragement here, friend.
thank you much xo
praying for your days to be sick free and joy filled!
That face! Oh, that sweet face!
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
That is so funny! My daughter calls it MYganda too! She is 4 but has called it that since she was 3.
ReplyDeletethank you so much for this post. even through your sickness, you are blessing others (me!)
ReplyDeleteit's hard for me to truly believe joy (and trust) will come...but i'm trying!
Such great words... Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteSigh. I miss you. Praying for you, sister. Come back full time soon. You leave a void.
ReplyDeleteOhMyWord, this is so sweet--and so encouraging to many, I'm sure. I miss Clayton. It feels like ages since I've seen him (or any of your kiddos!).
ReplyDeleteHello there, I suffered terribly with hyperemesis with both of my pregnancies and was in and out of hospital. It has made me question whether we will have a third baby...but like you say it is SO worth it.
ReplyDeleteSince having my girls, I have read about a lady who invented ice lollies here in the UK that help with the hyperemesis symptoms...and she now sells them in the US. It may just be another thing that doesn't work but her story is worth a read. http://www.lillipops.com/
Good luck, hopt it passes soon. xx
It would be so great if you could write about those post-adoption blues.
ReplyDeleteI think blogs tend to glaze over many of the difficulties because people want to present and record the happiest moments in life, but it would be so useful to hear more about what really goes on...sometimes when looking at blogs it's hard to imagine that anyone else struggles with these things. Thank you.
Amen Girlfriend. Joy will come. Jesus is all about redemption, healing and good plans! So thankful for healing. The road is long and the wounds are deep but in the midst of that binding we can learn so much about our own hearts.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
He's so cute! Hope the sickness passes soon, I was so sick during all my pregnancies, but well worth having my head in the toilet ALL day.
ReplyDeleteOur adopted daughter at the age of 1 would put big portions of food in her mouth and we had never experienced that with our boys. The one struggle we still have is sleep, she is afraid to be alone in her room, our room is right next to hers and she is 5 1/2 now, she sleeps in our room every night.
Oh my. I am so sorry for your sickness. You may talk to your OB/CNM/caregiver about IV's. If the sickness is so bad, hydration fluid might be worth looking into. My CNM even puts some women on IV home therapy. That's what I'll do the next time I'm pregnant. Get a hep lock that I'd go in to have changed when necessary (every 3-7 days)and then my husband is taught how to give the fluids. Because it is horrid, the sickness. Of course its worth it. It always is, but oh it is hard. I'll pray for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd little Clayton is as cute as ever! Glad He's working through the food issues. That can be so hard.
I can't believe how grown up he looks in this photo.
ReplyDeletePraying for you dear one.
So sorry your sick, but absolutely agree that every child is totally worth it! Would you mind if I ask a question of you? I know this is terrible timing, but we're a bit under the gun here. You had mentioned in a past post how on paper the requirements for you guys to adopt was only for one child and under 36 months. How were you able to change those requirements? We are there right now, been in the adoption process to adopt two little guys from Uganda since May 2010. Last year things were moving slowly forward and then the Lord blessed us with another baby, born this January. So now we're faced with similar requirements to yours. Would you mind sharing with us? We are on our face before the Lord seeking a way to get "our boys" home.
ReplyDeletemccammacks(at)gmail(dot)com
Sorry you are sick and sorry that people say stupid things to you.
ReplyDeleteI know that they will continue to and I know that God will supply you with the graceful replies.
Thank you for sharing the truths behind adoption of even younger kiddos. Every moment of love (or lack of love) leaves an imprint on our kiddos. So many times, people only adopt younger kiddos because they think it will be easier...sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. Thanks for sharing your journey!!!!!