dusty heart.
i bought that hat before chloe was born. each of the girls has worn
it. i'm certain i have pictures of them each in it. somewhere.
i wish so much that everything was in order.
despite much order, i'm trying to accept that it just all can't be.
i'd love to have perfect albums & the extra pictures organized in pretty boxes by date.
i'd love to always know where every hat, coat, glove & umbrella is.
i'd love for the closets to stay with the clothes hanging the right way & in color order.
i'd love to fold those fitted sheets perfectly & to never have to shove the linen closet door shut.
i love for there never to be crumbs on the pantry floor and
dirt lining the track when i open the window.
i know, know, know that none of these things are truly important.
so, why do they do so much to my mood?
it's therapuetic to me to clean & organize...
even when i know it won't ever all be done.
maybe there's beauty in that?
always something to work on. clean. improve.
the feeling of lightness as it changes.
knowing that it will never be good enough,
but that it is okay because it is loved anyway.
[we're not really talking about my house anymore, are we?]
At The Relevant Conference Ann Voskamp said this "The state of my space does not reflect the state of my soul." Love that.
ReplyDeleteI am working hard to try and remind myself of this when I wish I'd done more. But I love what you've said... maybe the beauty is really in that we are trying. We get up each day and give it our best effort and it just all can't be done. And that's alright.
Ahh all that sounds so nice... but some days it is just hard (and I only have one! : )
OOOOOOO, I would love that to **SIGH***
ReplyDelete:)
so true, I find my head and clearer when my house is more organized, and when my house is a chaos well you can imagine my state of mind!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your feelings of organizing to improve. with many children at home (and we homeschool all four of them) there is never complete order. only a process. a daily process. just imagine if there was nothing to organize. what a boring, orderly existence! ha!
ReplyDeleteside note. where oh where did you get those shoes of hers!? adorable!
YES! The laundry is piling here (for 4 days) b/c the washer is broken. As you said, why does it do so much to my mood?? Cleaning/organizing is therapy for me as well but I'm stuck right now because there is a "flaw" in the system! (not totally about my physical house either) The repair man comes tomorrow. I can hold on...
ReplyDeleteamen. I am learning to make peace with the chaos.
ReplyDeleteI am the same way. I love a clean house and unfortunatley it does put me in a much better mood. I have really been working on letting go and realizing the mess will be there later. I know you will find those pictures one day when you least suspect it and it will be such a blessing to your day. =)
ReplyDeleteerin--the shoes are livie & luca!
ReplyDeleteArianna wore that shirt yesterday! Just had to comment because it totally made me smile.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you and I are pretty much soul mates. Thanks for this post, makes me step outside of myself for a second and be ok with what my life really is, not what I always want it to be.
ReplyDeletethat hat...so cute. but the precious face under it, even cuter :)
ReplyDeleteso true...off to fold that mountain of laundry...fully knowing that another mountain will appear as soon as that one is gone...
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Jill