setting.
the moon was big and full tonight. the babies & i went outside to point & wave to it. then,
we noticed the sun setting in the backyard. the sky was all pink, orange & yellow.
the babies laughed while they waved goodbye to the sun. clay is talking so much and i cannot
believe how soon he will be 2 years old. today, he snatched something out of the trash,
[which i constantly have to police] cradled it in his right arm, tucked it into his chest &
RAN. [while glancing over his shoulder at me & laughing.] oh, how i laughed and laughed.
it flashforwarded me 14 years when we'll all be cheering
the babies laughed while they waved goodbye to the sun. clay is talking so much and i cannot
believe how soon he will be 2 years old. today, he snatched something out of the trash,
[which i constantly have to police] cradled it in his right arm, tucked it into his chest &
RAN. [while glancing over his shoulder at me & laughing.] oh, how i laughed and laughed.
it flashforwarded me 14 years when we'll all be cheering
him on from the stands at his football game. he's totally a natural.
i don't mean to color coordinate the twinsies so often, but i do. maybe it's subconscious.
they are a joy. clay will lie down on the floor and ask bianca to join him by patting the ground.
she laughs and does it. they pretend wrestle.
she laughs and does it. they pretend wrestle.
that has led them to discover that they really can push each other down
and how effective a method that is for getting them out of each other's way. "please be gentle" only
comes of my mouth 472 times a day. they immediately gently pet each others' head.
there are moments in the day that i wonder what on earth i'm doing.
my mind gets all jumbled and i lose focus.
i get frustrated with things that are out of my control & things that have been misunderstood.
i remember all the things that "need" to get done and
think of all the things that i've traded; the things that will never get done.
it can be maddening, but
it doesn't last long.
in the end, this is it. did i love to the very best of my ability?
love God. love others.
trust me, i am failing. but, i'm not.
[neither are you.]
Oh, Love, this is one of the best posts I've ever read anywhere. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a timely word for me! It is hard not to be hard on yourself as a mama!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
his hair is awesome.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I accidentally (subconsciously?) coordinate my kids clothes all the time. I think it is an extension of my mood, maybe making me drawn to a certain color or pattern or whatever. But it's great! I know it can get too matchy-matchy, but families standing together SHOULD be visually pleasing.
"love God. love others. trust me, i am failing. but, i'm not.[neither are you.]"...BEAUTIFUL!!!!
ReplyDeletethere could not be cuter twins! i LOVE the way bianca is looking at clay in this photo!
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. God has used you to lift my spirits and reaffirm me today. thank you.
ReplyDeleteOh, how timely! Just last night, I had a mini-meltdown before bedtime due to the overwhelming amount of toys and clutter all over the floor. Always. I could walk around all day bending down and picking up only to have it still look that way at the end of the day. It's so hard to remember how fleeting these days are when the here and now is overwhelming the beautiful moments made making those messes, while playing and pretending together. Just how we want it... *sigh* I love the picture... So, so sweet. You made my heart ache more and more for twins...
ReplyDeleteYour posts go straight to my heart--joy and tears.
ReplyDeleteI love this post.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this today. Last night was a felt like I was failing night, so thank you. Love you.
ReplyDeleteIt's love, it's always love, it's always, always love. And it's not the love of valentine's and candlelight.
ReplyDelete(Well, I mean, sometimes it is! Joy!)
But mostly it's the love that is sacrifice, of bread being broken over and over until you are sure there is only crumbs left and then it's manna and it's *just enough* for that day. And it's a miracle and a mystery that He chooses us as vessels. And so we fill up on Him again EVERY MORNING so that we can be poured out all over again.
And always, it's love.
(And I love YOU, sister.)
Love every word. Beautiful and beautifully encouraging.
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures you paint of life with the twinsies.
ReplyDeleteI love how you share your struggles and your love and your heart.
Thank you so much for being you, and reminding us that even when we are failing, we're not.
((hugs))
this is so beautiful. in so many ways!
ReplyDeletethat picture is just precious...i love the face that bianca is making. it's just sheer joy!
sometimes I envy you so much. this is one of those times.
ReplyDeleteumm, so this is embarrassing and weird, but here goes...
ReplyDeletei bought a "thing 2" shirt at a garage sale in size 2t. only i don't have 2 things. i have 4 things, so it just doesn't work around here. i was wondering if you would want it for bianca and then clay could be thing 1. it could be for halloween or just for fun. anyway, if you want it, it's yours. if not, no biggie. i just thought i'd check before i sent it off to the mission.
Yes, that is it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I find myself subconsciously coordinating my 1 & 3yr olds and/or myself. I guess we can have "color-moods."
Friend, I have WALLOWED in this post for the last 24 hours. The Holy Spirit used it to whisper truth to my battered heart.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's all about love. (Have you ever read how I got the name for my blog? It echoes your thoughts.) In the end, that's all that matters. It's so easy to lose focus.
I love this picture. And I love your take on things. I can tell that you do love each day to the best of your ability and you inspire me to love more too!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU.
ReplyDeleteFor writing this.
For being who you are.
For sharing these words.
I am thankful for you, Love.
Thank you so much for the daily reminders of...what matters most.
ReplyDeletestephanie@metropolitanmama.net
I just found your blog today and spent some time reading through it while my baby (who is supposed to be napping) chatters away at her feet in the nursery in her crib.
ReplyDeleteThe last two sentences touched me so hard in my heart.
Thank you... I needed to read them. I have no idea what I'm doing. But I feel better about it now.