our boy.
i've been going through and organizing pictures. this one got me.
i can feel this moment.
sitting on the floor of the babies' room in the first week the clay came home.
clay would sit on one hip, snuggle and suck his thumb.
bianca would stretch across me & nurse on the other side.
i was exhausted to the core, yet so very happy.
i saw glimpses of the joy that would come in his eyes, but there was still hesitation.
i felt very alone in many of the emotions that came after leaving Africa,
yet felt very loved, too.
i even remember the trivial things of clothes being in piles all over the room as we
tried to organize the babies. i had no idea how i'd ever get my arms back to do it,
but also knew it didn't really matter.
i hadn't showered or returned any calls,
but i had loved, snuggled, dried tears, held & reassured.
november 2009
it has been a joy to watch him grow and learn.
to witness his joy for life come out even more and
see his love for people.
he is so silly and enjoys making people laugh.
he still snuggles mama like no other & runs to his daddy at first sight.
he adores water and music.
i think he is going to be so much fun as a high schooler...
joking, laughing, fun-loving.
adoption is based on loss and even with babies, the loss is very real.
clay is wise and has more survival in his eyes than anyone i've ever seen.
i pray that he can continue to find so much joy in exactly where God has him.
i'm so thankful he is home.
july 2010
So thrilled for you ... for you both! Destiny
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful too. What a beautiful posts with beautiful photos.
ReplyDeleteBri
My breath kind of caught in my throat, thinking about the loss and survival Clay has endured...and thanking God that he's with his family now and will never have to face that loss or survival again.
ReplyDeleteI cried reading this. How lucky you both are to found each other.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine your family without him.
ReplyDeletexo-z
Tears welled up in my eyes, knowing exactly what you mean about Clay having "more survival in his eyes than anyone I've ever seen". When visiting our little girl last month, learning the loss and trauma she has already endured...I've seen that survival in her eyes as well.
ReplyDeleteIt is so amazing seeing these pictures and how much joy he obviously brings! Thank you for sharing a little glimpse of that joy! :)
you say it so well. i don't think we get our arms back until they all move out...then we loose them again to grandchildren. it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteyou have the most beautifull family ever, I love to read your blog. Your story about finding Clayton makes my heart melt. I am trying to get pregnant for the first time (been trying for two months with no luck but feels like forever), I'm 31 and been married for a year now, and I just can't wait to have a baby , to hug and kiss as you do with your children.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the happiness and joy for you and your family all the way from mexico :)
MM
gorgeous and lovely and awesome and so much more!
ReplyDeletebritt
This is a beautiful post.
ReplyDeletei love your perspective and focus. your children are very, very lucky to have you as their mommma.
ReplyDeleteToday I mailed our dossier for our adoption for a little boy (praying for twins) from Ethiopia. You inspired me with your story and love that you have for Clay. I'd been praying for my husbands' heart to change...and it did. Now we pray together for our baby(ies) in Africa. This post was perfect!!
ReplyDeletethis is just beautiful! God as out adoption on my heart lately I'm praying to see what is in store for us!
ReplyDeleteKnow the loss well. What strikes me is his eyes...in the first photo and in the more recent ones...there is a difference of joy and fullness and mercy and the love only a family can bring in His name. There is loss. There will always be. But there is also healing and redemption:)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, beautiful post. We are getting to travel to China to adopt our girl. Thanks for sharing. I love to learn from those who have gone before me.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful that Clay has found his forever home with you guys and that you saw that joy, that happy little boy within.
ReplyDeleteHe brings me joy by seeing his happiness.
What a treasure he is!
ReplyDeleteClay is a precious boy. He is so blessed to have you for his mommy and be in such a loving family.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, thank you so much for the Birthday wishes and for your smile last night, which made my birthday more special. God knows the people we need in our lives and I am so happy that he placed you in Stephs life. Love, Rhonda
Wow Love, I am really choked up reading your beautiful, heartfelt post about your precious baby boy. Clay is so blessed to have found his forever home with you, Matt and your wonderful girls. There is no doubt he will flourish into a bright, generous man because of who he is being raised by. You truly are amazing and am enjoying getting to know your family better through this blog. It is so amazing to see the joy that you all have brought to him and out of him.
ReplyDeleteMich
Adoption is intense.
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you and your journey. My son is hands down, the very best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
These are friends of mine...I thought you'd like to get to know http://www.azali.org/our-story They've adopted three already and are getting ready to adopt two more!
ReplyDeleteStop by and say hi!
Kristin
"adoption is based on loss and even with babies, the loss is very real. clay is wise and has more survival in his eyes than anyone i've ever seen."
ReplyDeleteSo so true and perfectly said.