lots of snuggling breaks.
i just peeked in on the babies napping peacefully. i just needed to see Clay. he's had a rough 24
hours. no easy explanation as to why, but i don't think he needs one. he's just sad. and frustrated.
our love, my love, will never be enough for him. it isn't really enough for any of us, is it? that is why
i'm so thankful for grace....that i am loved in a way that i could never fathom as a human. clay is, too.
i just have to pray that he can feel that. that he'll know it. accept it. pray that we can be used to help
him get a glimpse of that unconditional, all-consuming love. like anything worth-while, adoption isn't
easy. it can be hard and messy, but i am thankful. we are all learning through this. more love.
more patience. more compassion. better priorities. more trust. i hope he feels it.
hours. no easy explanation as to why, but i don't think he needs one. he's just sad. and frustrated.
our love, my love, will never be enough for him. it isn't really enough for any of us, is it? that is why
i'm so thankful for grace....that i am loved in a way that i could never fathom as a human. clay is, too.
i just have to pray that he can feel that. that he'll know it. accept it. pray that we can be used to help
him get a glimpse of that unconditional, all-consuming love. like anything worth-while, adoption isn't
easy. it can be hard and messy, but i am thankful. we are all learning through this. more love.
more patience. more compassion. better priorities. more trust. i hope he feels it.
this probably doesn't need to be said because my readers [my FRIENDS!] have always been compassionate and encouraging, but i feel so vulnerable sharing this post.
ReplyDeletei hope you know that any plans or schedules have gone out the window to take time to respond to clay's extra needs during this time. he just needs extra time [just like that picture shows] and he's getting it. i'm sure he'll be back to happy-go-lucky clay soon...though i'm in no rush. =)
I could sense it this week, actually, and I've hardly talked to you. Bless you for feeling vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteYou are responding to him just as a good mother would, and should, and it means more to him than you'll probably know. I understand, and although I am not glad to hear he is having a tough time, I am so warmed in my heart by your compassion and love for all of your children.
You are a good Mom, and a good friend.
Steph
Praying for you my friend! For you, Clay, and your whole family! God bless and take care...and I like your vulnerable side...it shows that we are all human and need to rely on God!
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful mother. What a mutual blessing you and Clay must be to each other. While I'm very close and bonded with Ivy, there is something unique and special about a mother and her son.
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
Bri
You all will be in my thoughts. I imagine there will always be those rough spots, but it seems like you open your heart so much to your children, that any one of them will come out on the other end with so much love and happiness.
ReplyDelete:) Love to you....
I've missed reading your blog lately, I have had surgery so I am very behind with what is going on in everyone else's life!
ReplyDeleteHope things are ok with this sweet little boy of yours?
Snuggling breaks are the best. My six month old refused to nap in his bed today, so I was able to nurse him in my bed and nap with him ... twice today. I love pressing 'pause' to have these special moments. I know they won't last forever, so I savor each one. Even if the floors aren't clean, or the dishes aren't done, or the dogs haven't been fed. My little one is my world and I have realized my calling in this last half of a year. I am so blessed to be able to stay home with him for now.
ReplyDeleteYour blog inspires me to find beauty in every single moment. I try to document it - and my happiness in my little man and Him on my blog: aswistakstory.blogspot.com.
Praying for your little man and your four beauties.
I KNOW this feeling. I know this vulnerability and I pray too that Clay feels the loving arms of our Father through you. How amazingly loved he is.....
ReplyDeleteYou tell that beautiful son of yours that he's loved by all. The story of his adoption, the story of your family is on my mind daily. You inspire me to be a better mother to my daughter. Whenever I'm feeling like I can take no more, I think of something you've written and it makes it easier. Thank you for sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteHis faithful love Surrounds you! God is working through you in a mighty way!
ReplyDeleteFrom this picture, it looks like he's getting exactly what he needs...what a moment...amid all of the other craziness, right?
ReplyDeleteAww, sweet Clay... Thinking of you all, Hon!
ReplyDeleteSorry he's having a rough time...that you all are. I'll be thinking about you all.
ReplyDeleteHey off the subjet but did you fifnish your mantel yet? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness. That picture takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes. Those eyes, and the little curled toes! He is such a gorgeous, sweet little boy. I pretty much won "worst mom of the year" tonight, and am sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm going to go peek in on my own babies and see if I can give some extra love to either of them...because I could use a little back, too.
ReplyDeleteThere is MUCH to be said about touch. Preemies grow and thrive better when they are touched. I have some friends who have adopted all their children from Colombia. The first 2 as infants and the next ones as much older children. They have had the most difficult 18-19 months of their lives. And yet, they love their kids and would never trade what they have gone through to have a "normal" life. This is what they have been called to do by God and that's what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your blog. It's beautiful.
I stopped by from Adventures in Babywearing, but I am so going to become a follower!
I miss having a little baby in the house so much. Very, very much. This made me cry. I am glad you got some extra snuggle time in!
ReplyDelete