on balance.
i constantly feel the pull of holding them close and allowing their freedom. the freedom
to explore, to feel trusted & to just be. i waiver between my love of really knowing people
and my true introvert self. many times, i'd rather stay cooped up with our little family of seven,
never answer the phone and just enjoy our own little bubble. that conflicts with my desire to
get out, to know people, to help people, to learn, to travel, to show our little family the world.
my love of having them close [and all to myself] conflicts with my love of having those we
love the very most in our home. my love of sharing more of ourselves,
more of our things, breaking bread together & listening to the sound of our
children making their own friendships.
it all conflicts and pushes and pulls.
as it is right for our family, i learn to allow some
backyard time exploring on their own.
yet, i know that they will probably never be
the kids going off to friend's houses.
but, isn't that just what motherhood....
just what womanhood...
is all about?
the pushing & pulling, the giving & taking, the letting fly & reigning in
Sounds about right... That's just what it is... ;-)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand. It wasn't until just recently that I let the girls go to friends' houses. And they are 15 and 12 and when they are there I make them check in with me every 30 minutes or so on their phone.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I'm not a mother yet, but i still feel that pull...I so often think of how great it would be to have many people in our home and the great love that would be there, and then as soon as we invite someone over, I'm ready for them to go so I can feel safe with my husband in our home...strange, but so true.
ReplyDeleteI understand and feel the same way. 1000%
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, I always had friends at my house. My mom would graciously make lunch, dinner, breakfast and never complain. Once in HS, one of my girl friends and three of my guy friends ended up crashing at my house after we were at a late movie. My mom woke up to three boys in the living room...and made everyone bacon and blueberry pancakes. I always just thought she was awesome--and she is--for this, but now I also understand that she knew I was safe.
ReplyDeleteThis was so wonderfully put. I am such a home body, would much rather be tucked away just us then out and about, but I know that isn't what I need. Breaking out of my shell has shown Boo that it is okay to break out of hers.
ReplyDeleteI am with you 100%
ReplyDeletethis post is beautiful. so honest and really beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteelizabeth