letting go
When I am out with all 5 of our children, (ages 6 and under) women often say to me, "I don't know how you do it. I can barely keep up with my 2 kids!"
Recently, while at the girls' school Christmas party, two moms went on and on. They commiserated about how tired they were, how they had SO much to do, how they couldn't keep their 2 children's schedules straight & couldn't imagine being here at the party with five kids.
I finally said to them, "I really just had to learn to let go of a lot of things."
You see...
We are not ever going to have our laundry all the way caught up.
They all won't have their hair fixed perfectly every single day.
They won't each get to pick individual hobbies & be taxied all over the county.
I won't be able to watch over their every single move throughout the day and control all their activities.
We won't often leave the house on a whim in a very short amount of time.
We won't be traveling on exotic trips that having one 1 child might afford us.
But, letting go of these silly ideals? That is nothing compared to what we all gain.
[AND--every now and then, they are actually all bathed, dressed and in happy moods. And then? You take a picture.]
Chloe looks so grown up in that picture! Is she driving yet?;)
ReplyDeleteI think letting go was the hardest part of going from 1 to 2 kids, for me. I had two months where I tried so hard to control everything and failed miserably, until I finally just let go of so much of that...and I've been much happier since.
SUCH a sweet sweet picture...what a GAIN!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are just starting the process of becoming parents (including beginning to sort through LOADS of information on adoption), and it is SUCH a gift to read your thoughts on parenting. I'm so thrilled that I found your blog!
ReplyDeleteLove it and I couldn't agree more! I too am learning all about letting go and life is so much better!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Amy
I don't even have any kids yet and this is still a great message. A lot of little things aren't worth what we would otherwise give up! Thanks for sending me the link to your blog!
ReplyDeleteThere is so much to be learned in that simple lesson, to let things go! I think that was the biggest lesson of having twins right out of the gate. It also provides spectacular perspective. We spent a lot of nights awake with sick preemie babies and now, everything feels pretty easy. The times I get tired are when I expect too much rather than just sit back and enjoy life as it is.
ReplyDeletethanks for this encouraging post! I love it! people always think I'm crazy when I tell them I want a lot of kids! i always imagined it the way you said it, how things might not always get done or you might have to give up a few things but it doesnt compare to the joy and love you get from them!
ReplyDeletewell I'm not getting any of those things done anyways with 3...so why not add more? :) Life is TOO short to worry about laundry. Thanks for the encouragement :)
ReplyDeleteJenn
I understand completely! Especially when my 4 were all under five. That commnent was one that I heard often. We are adding one from Peru to the mix (hopefully) soon. Thanks for sharing your heart and your encouragement.
ReplyDeletePaige
those are the same comments we get too! and i agree...you have to let go...but even though people look at ME and ask how i do it, they also always comment on how happy my kids are and how much they love each other to which i reply...yes it's true...our house is bursting at the seams with LOVE.
ReplyDeleteAMEN, SISTER!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog and I love reading your posts.
ReplyDeleteI have 3 daughters 20,15,& 11 but I always take on other's children at any given time. As many as my van will hold to bring them home, lol....But when others ask me how I do it or "why" I do it, I just say "Hey, when you have 3 what's 3 or 4 more". I mean, it's not going to mess up my schedule or anything, you know?
Thanks again, I enjoy reading about your family. Very sweet family.
Pat
It's a beautiful perfect imperfection.
ReplyDeleteWe are the same way. We can't "do" as much, but it doesn't meaning we're lacking any good thing. :)
Steph
Ok,I love your blog. I just had to be nosy after Erin (vintage pearl's) post. It is so nice to hear I am not the only one who is happiest with so many babies around! I unfortunately listened to all those (what about time, money, etc.)had a tubal after my
ReplyDelete2nd :( and now daily live in regret. We may choose invitro or adoption, but for now, my best friend who has 3 under 6 lives next door and I live vicariously with all 5 in my house every chance I get! I totally agree would much rather have flour on every surface of my kitchen with happy babies makng cookies then a sparkly clean house waiting for a potential visitor! Great job! Thank goodness, for God, Coffee, Advil, Awesome Hubbies, and Precious Babies :0) Thanks for sharing your life! Tabitha
Yes, I am on the receiving end of those conversations all the time too. It sounds like you handled it with grace and honesty. We allow each of our older kids to play one sport per season, and even that gets a little crazy, but so far we are making it work. But, yeah, we always have laundry waiting to be done and there are dishes in my sink constantly it seems and my house and my car bear many signs that children are a part of my life--and I like it that way!
ReplyDeleteThat is so true. With our 4 we have learned to pick our battles. It has made such a difference
ReplyDeleteYou are so, so right! The day will come when all of our/your littles will have flown the coop, and the busyness and controlled chaos will be gone. The house will be quiet and still. The life will come back on special occasions and holidays and we will live for those days. In the meantime, these are the days, the no regret days,and the best way to enjoy them is to let go to surrender. Because ... this too shall pass and so, so quickly. Thank you for a timely message and oh, so adorable picture. Destiny D.
ReplyDeleteWe are looking for t-shirt fundraisers for our adoption and wondering where we can sell the let love grow ones on our blog if you were done fundraising with them. Thanks! funk50@charter.net
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Hey! Just wanted to let you know we have our new official adoption blog up and running! Feel free to subscribe and follow along with us on our journey of bringing home our first child from Uganda, Africa! http://www.starkeyadoption.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteI love this! Even with two kids we have found that certain things must be let go, and I am okay with that.
ReplyDeleteLetting go is such an important part of parenting! I find I can't carry on a conversation well with mom's who can't let go of a few things....
ReplyDeleteWhat a great picture :)
Love this girl! You know I feel ya. Yes, our hands are full but so are our hearts and are homes with love!
ReplyDeleteAh letting go.... So easily said. So heartrending to do... Truly the test of motherhood.
ReplyDeleteThose twins get me every time!
Hugs to you and fam.
xoxoxo
LOVE this post. My friends act like I'm nuts because I have 3! And because I want more!
ReplyDeleteI seriously love you Lovelyn! That last sentence made me laugh out loud! I love how much i have learned and continue to learn from you! HUGS!
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me happy and hopeful and also may or may not make me want to have twenty more kids.
ReplyDeleteLove you. SO FREAKIN' MUCH.
Oh my gosh. I have this experience every day - and I think the exact same thing. I don't do it! Or at least, I barely do it! And I "only" have four.
ReplyDeleteI have said the EXACT same thing to so many people. I use this analogy. When I just had one child I used to clean my fridge every week, take everything out and wipe the shelves etc. Now... it gets done every 6 months, maybe.
ReplyDeletePriorities just change.
I just admire and love your view on everything, but mostly motherhood.
ReplyDeleteps, their boots? fabulous. I need you to dress me, for real.
:) Love this!
ReplyDeleteSO TRUE!!! Love this post. So many things that we try to control and hold on so.tight.to are not worth it!!
ReplyDeleteI hope one day I have a big beautiful family like yours!!
I just found your blog. I loved this post. We are in the process of adoption from Uganda with Generations. God is teaching me to let go of a lot of pressures that society puts on you. It is freeing! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLooks like you're doing a pretty dang good job too! What an adorable family you have, Mama.
ReplyDeletep.s. thanks for linking to me. :)
Best~
Kim