sure, i'll push you
i took the girls to the park the other day. i purposefully left my phone in the car. i don't want to be tempted to be on the phone or internet instead of being in the moment with my kids. it's not that it is always this way.....i mean, there are times that we go to the park simply so i can sit in the grass and read my book. and, of course there are times when i steal a minute to check my e-mail while the girls run and play. this day? no.
we ran. we played. we laughed. we slid. we swinged. we imagined.
it was perfect.
except for the part where the mom that chatted on her cell phone the.whole.time screamed at her son to leave her alone. couldn't he see she was on the phone?
except for the part where the lady used her daughter to "discreetly" chastise my involvement with my kids while i pushed anika on the swings. "oh COME on now, mary, just pump your legs. i'm not doing it for you. do you think that someone was out there pushing me when i was little? do it for yourself."
except for the part where the mom and dad sat on the bench, reading the paper and didn't blink an eye when their sons pointed imaginary guns at us and told us that they were going to blast out our eyeballs and break our arms off.
who am i kidding? it was still a perfect time together with the girls. they didn't even really notice the first 2 scenarios. but, you can trust we happily left after the boys told ellie what they'd do to her.
i've thought about that day at the park so much now. i don't want to judge those parents. but, i did want to scream at them:
HANG UP THE PHONE! HE WON'T WANT YOU TO WATCH HIS EVERY MOVE IN 5 YEARS!
JUST PUSH HER! SHE'LL DO IT ALL BY HERSELF NEXT SUMMER AND THEN? YOUR CHANCE WILL BE GONE.
TEACH THEM TO BE KIND AND LOVING! JUST BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS COOL ON TV DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN ALLOW THEM TO TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE THAT!
instead, i've been reminded to just keep teaching myself these things. to be intentional. to be involved. to be present. even if it is more "work" now......i'll never regret giving them a push that they needed.
This makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm with you on leaving the phone in the car to avoid distractions, but those other parents... I see the products of the other parents when the kids step into my classroom years later, and it isn't pretty.
ReplyDeleteBut for every three kids from those parents, we get kids from parents like you and those kids make the job worthwhile!
Haha! this is somewhat related, but somewhat not... but after reading your 'view point' I'm ecstatic that I'm not alone! Have you ever read "Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box" Really funny book. I laughed in stitches about the things Mom said about how they thought parenting should be.. Ridiculous! Put down all the crap an just push your kid on the swing for crying out loud! haha, so funny. I think this was the first book I read where I didn't really learn anything other than how silly some parents can be... lol
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! It is my pet peeve when parents don't watch/ignore/don't discipline their children. It's not only the children who are missing out, but the parents too... :(
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! For real!! I am looking forward to park days with you again...
ReplyDeleteSteph
This is beautiful and heart-wrenching, all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder.
I so know where you're coming from! We had a day like that at the park recently, and it drives me batty. But it's wonderful to be with the kids in the moment. The stuff around us... I could do without at times.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding us of this. It's easy to get caught up in the drudgery, and the time does fly fly away.
ReplyDeleteYeah. You nailed it.
ReplyDeletehey, you must live in my school area, that boy who shoots "pretend" guns and maims various body parts is in my classroom. Or is there more than one in this planet??! heaven help us all!
ReplyDeleteAs sad as the scenarios you encountered were, this post is such a breathe of fresh air for me. I think we, as mothers, forget we need to embrace those moments with our children. To put phones away, ignore the constant distractions, and just be with our kids, for our kids.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I stopped by and read this. So glad.
This really put things into perspective.I am always trying to "get something done," or multitask. I don't want to be that parent, and this seems to be one of the greatest benefits I get from blogging. Reflections that make you reflect.
ReplyDeleteJen
Hi! I'm new here . . .
ReplyDeleteAnd I just want to say I totally agree. Leaving phones and what-not in the car is something we've always done when we go to the park. I mean, sure, once in a while we'll go to the park so mommy can have a little bit of reprieve but usually it's so we can play TOGETHER.
And even when we do go to the park so mommy can have a moment, I'm always RIGHT THERE should there be a need. I don't care how important what I may be doing is, if they're annoying other families or misbehaving or just need me, I'm right there.
There is NEVER any excuse for pushing your children away. Nothing is more important than them.
Whew! I think you struck a chord . . . lol
Yeah, it's one of those "don't get me started" things. ;-)
~Annie
I try to remind myself to slow down and live "in the moment". It is easier some days than others. A great book on this topic is Mitten Strings for God. It is helpful to read when feeling the craziness of life.
ReplyDelete